Jul 8, 2009
Rescued 8 times!
Engineering is behind me! The results of the last exam have come, the university has given us a nice parting gift in the form of liberal evaluations.They must believe in "last impression is the best impression"!:) All i'd say is we're not going to forget the needless revaluations, some of the shocking question papers or any of the schemes to empty our pockets(the last one was the forceful purchase of a lousy 25paise worth sticker for Rs15)!
At this point in time, most would be heaving a sigh of relief, some would be partying, others are worried about landing a job, but as for me, there is just one thought in my head, the thought which defines my engineering journey, what i learnt most, what is my greatest take-home in these 4 years.
Its the fact that god rescued me 8 times over the past 4 years.This is probably one of the greatest engineering cliches, but there was not one semester in which i could safely say that i'd clear all the subjects.There was always one irritant, one spoiler, one paper that left me a little shaken after three long hours.
1st Sem: This was the only semester where i was committed to study hard and prove something.What it is that I wanted to prove,I no longer remember! But inspite of all my efforts, Basic Electronics( the toughest subject in the 1st year) proved to be my Achilles' heel. The main exam was a shocker, i had never been so clueless during a public exam, but thankfully the rest of the population fared in the same manner. The days before the results were times spent being restless.Failing was not unexpected.But when the results came i got 42! A good 7 marks past the magical figure of 35(our passing mark)! God had rescued me, a tiny seed of faith had been sown.
2nd Sem:This was supposed to be an easier semester, a good chance to score well. But unfortunately my mother had to go and take care of her ailing mum during the study holidays, so hmmmmm....lets just say that the television watching hours in my house rose significantly during that time period, the football world cup played no small part in that statistic! The result: I did very badly in the Physics exam, i finished the paper a good half hour early! i just had a couple of hours worth of content to write,it was that bad! Results were again something i didnt look forward to! When the it arrived i had scored exactly 35!God saved me from disgrace again!The tiny seed had grown, it had sprouted a tiny stalk, it was feeble but promising.
3rd Sem:This semester was made for me,subjects i liked,2 math subjects and 2 programming subjects helped me in no small fashion, but there was a pain in the arse, Electronic Circuits, a subject that would made greek and latin comprehensible. i cleared the subject with a face saving 39, but what disappointed me was my poor showing in some of my strong subjects! Had God failed me? But the small measure of faith i gathered over a year rose up within me. I gave a couple of subjects for revaluation and got 24 more marks. God showed up after all. The tiny seed was a handsome sapling.
4th Sem: Here the villain was FAFL(finite automata and something something!;)) This was more of a problem based subject, if you get it right you get all the marks, you get it wrong its a big zero! Unfortunately the exam went very bad, not only was i not able to complete the paper, but i had got most of it wrong!:( . The other subjects were no balancing acts either. The sapling had to go through a storm of sorts, either it would be uprooted or the roots would grow longer and deeper to anchor itself. The sapling survived, God not only saved me from drowning this time, he also gave me a tank full of oxygen, enough to rejuvenate me! I got 47 in FAFL!
5th sem: The semester, we had to pass all or remain unplaced(without a job). The exams went bad. I was anxious to get through the first company(SATYAM COMPUTERS) that came to campus, because they would consider marks upto the 4th semester only. Not getting through that company added to the casual worries. But come results my now strong tree of faith stood strong, it wouldnt be felled easily. I got decent marks. I managed to land a job in the next two companies that visited the campus.God was by my side, he didnt abandon me in my time of need.
6th Sem: Needless to say, the security of a job and general dung-headedness landed me in a soup again, almost all the papers were written badly.But my worst showing ever did not result in sleepless nights or nervous breakdowns, the consequences, the ramifications of failure hardly bothered me. My trust and sight were no longer on getting a degree, life had more.This time i got a no good second class. But i passed where others flunked. I was still afloat. The strong branches of the once small seed held my weight, it wouldnt break away and make me fall.
7th Sem:This semester too the exams were unsatisfactory, my peers had a look of satisfaction after every exam, something i couldn't adorn myself. All i had was the shade from my leafy tree shielding me from the harsh sun. The results were nothing short of a miracle. I got an FCD(First Class With Distinction)! The tree was starting to bear fruit, nothing to truely savor or proclaim, but it was something. God was truely with me.
8th Sem: I reconnected with one of my first loves, programming, the project pushed me to look further, stay up longer, think harder, develop patience, meet deadlines and handle cranky clients. But the hyper dedication to the project came at a price, i realised that coding before a theory exam was not a wise thing to do. As a result i performed worse than any paper ever!! I finished it in 2 hours flat, the whole while glancing at my friend's(the ZED) paper, wondering how he was faring. But the below the poverty line performance hardly bothered me, in fact i found myself scolding, admonishing myself if my thoughts ever veered toward the negative. My tree was talking to me. It was no longer a seed, but a life bearing instrument.
And what do you know!! I get a whopping 49 in the end, i hadn't even written 49 marks worth of answers.
God rescued me not once, not twice, but 8 times! As i enter life, with challenges waiting to be met, I am not scared or fearful, I am not anxious, I dont fear failure, I am not afraid to take risks, because I am the tree! I have grown deep roots, I have faced the storms and stood still, I am poised to bear fruit in the right season. In the future i would sustain others with my fruit. Till then I am just thankful for being saved not once,not twice,not even thrice, but eight times!
P.S You'd probably think that every engineering student has to go through this, but hey! this is my story! I firmly believe my efforts were grossly disproportional to my marks! Unverifiable but true.
P.P.S The psalmist says,"Praise the Lord, I tell myself, and never forget the good things he does for me." Remembering what God has done for you is one of the most powerful weapons you have in life. Although this blog is read by a minority, i know that i will certainly come back, read and remember what the lord has done for me!