Apr 14, 2008

Case of the missing 'Jetti'

Kerala being one of the most hygenic states of India, the underwear has become an object of much usage as well as admiration to the malayalees, Often have the malayalees claimed to be the inventors of the 'langotti', the made-in-India loin cloth, worn by the more fortunate throughout the annals of history, A claim that is hotly contested by groups from all over India,

Nevertheless, evidence suggests that the malayalees for once may be telling the truth, the phonetics assosiation of Kerela provided the clinching evidence to secure the argument in favor of the malayalees, for they have discovered that the underwear is so ingrained into the malayalee society that new and amazing words have been formed just to utter the need for this wonderous contraption.

The chaddi, shaddi(my grandma's version), sheddi(slight variations are prevalent due to geographical differences), The shatti , The Jetti and many more interesting variations.
Like all great travellers, the malayalee too is singlemindedly determined to spread his culture and style wherever he goes. There are the jettiites, the shaddiites, shettiites and many more tribes under the 'hole'y umbrella of the underwear. My cousin Aashish Alexander is a Jettiite, and even when he was sent(deported) to Nepal to complete his education, he took the gospel of the jetti with him,and if you were to believe him, he had many of the hostelites convert to the Jetti clan.

One night Aashish was sleeping as usual with his jetti intact, and thats when he recieved a rough poke to his shoulder, He wakes up with a start and he finds his roomate Gund towering above him wearing nothing but a towel. This was pretty strange considering that Gund always slept with nothing but his underwear on.
Aashish rubs his eye, glances at the clock, which read 1 a.m and says
"What is it?"

To which gund replies

"Eda...where is my jetti? I remember going to sleep in my jetti, but i woke up without it! Help me look for it"

My cousin had done a lot of strange things in his life, but he was not going to look for someone else's underwear at 1 a.m.

"eh? you probably slept without it, were you drunk before you crashed? lets look for it in the morning....Go to sleep"

But no amount of cajoling by Aashish could stop Gund's singleminded determination to find his missing Jetti . Readers are cautioned not to consider this as abnormal behavior, the jettiites are known to get overtly atttached to their jettis, a jetti is almost like a part of one's body, removed grudgingly only to answer the freqeunt calls of nature.

So the two hapless undylovers got down to searching for the lost sheep, the suitcases only revealed Gund's stash of dry cleaned and ironed Jettis waiting to adorn their owner, the loft provided no solace for the search party. Finally after three hours of frantic searching, our brave heros decided to call it a night, daylight would reveal more they opined. A tearful Gund retired to his side of the bed.

As the first rays of sunlight shone across Aashish's face, he wondered if the deeds of the previous night was just a dream, his bedside was unoccupied, was Gund too afflicted by his sorrow? where had he gone? The sound of water running in the shower brought relief to Aashish. A long day with a mission awaited him. He would have to be brave, relentless in his pursuit, committed to the purpose.
The sharp sound of the phone ringing woke Aashish from his reverie. Gund's phone was ringing, news of the lost jetti? The chirpy voice of Gund's mom greeted Aashish, he informed her that Gund was taking a bath, on being asked about the state of affairs, He shamelessly related the case of the missing Jetti.

Gund's mom was hardly surprised by what happened . She told him about how Gund was a notorious sleepwalker who had done much damage in his youth, and would wake up without an inkling of what had happened the previous night.

Aashish cut the call short and rushed outside to look for the jetti, the search of the immediate surrounding yielded no results, As he ventured forward, he saw it................

Perched upon the radio antenna of Gund's Ford Ikon was the pink Jetti, like a flag fluttering upon a conquered peak, Aashish supressed the urge to salute this symbol of jettiism, grabbed the jetti and returned it as soon as possible to its rightful owner

Gund had travelled a good 100 mts from his room, had divested himself of his garment and had walked back to bed. The medical profession has a lot of work to be done in cracking the mystery of sleepwalking. With the case of the missing jetti solved, all was at peace. To this day Aashish wonders about the event, was it an espionage operation by the underwear-hattao movement? Or was this a genuine case of sleepwalking? Why would Gund reomove his beloved Jetti even if he was sleeping. Some mysteries may never be solved.

But for all practical purposes, the Case of the missing Jetti has been closed.