Nov 8, 2007


As we sat perched upon the highest point of our terrace, enjoying the diwali blitz, soaking in the glittering rockets and noisy crackers, life couldn't be better! Moods were at an all time high, so i ventured out, gathered my courage and my overused nerve and put forth the over asked question.

"Amma can i have a dog?"


"But, but can we go over the 'why not' again, i have some new arguments"


"Oh Christ!...maybe i'll blog about this"


"okay!!? mean i can get a dog?"

"No...i'm okay about you blogging"

Why does my mom have to reply in monosyllables? i'm not a dog! i can understand complex speech patterns! okay, i admit it, i used to get explanations before, guess she got tired! you gotta admire my persistence though!

When did i first want to own a dog? i think it was during the Enid Blyton craze back in the fourth standard, all of her pre teen detectives had dogs, Heck! one of the "famous five" was a dog! good ol Timmy! so did the Secret seven, even the kids at Malory towers had one! Oops, er, i just happened to flip through one of those eh books, and eh er . OKAY FINE! i read through Malory towers and St Clare's, they're not girlie, just stories about girls! Hmph!

Back to the issue in question. Lets analyse why i want a dog. The usual sane and valid reasons are well countered by mother.

Dogs are nice and cuddly....negated by.....dogs poop and shed hair

A dog will guard our house...negated by...dogs won't take care of themselves when we're away

A dog will give us puppies...negated by.... puppies are dogs you doofus

So i had to employ lateral thinking, think outside the box, confined as i am in the box, i tried..

"Well Fany has a dog, she has three in fact!!" Fany my best budd, has three dogs, not one, three!! and had three times 'mans best friend" and she is not even a man . Talk about having what you don't need!

"Fany topped the class too"

"Well, thats my point, she topped cause she has dogs!"


Okay that didn't work, but i'm not gonna give up as yet, whats the one thing man,or woman, never fail to let go? A chance to make a profit!!

"Mom, do you wanna make a quick buck? maybe not that quick! But the money will pour in after a couple of years, you interested?"


"We could get 2 dogs, male and female, they should fall in love, i'll arrange that, then the stork will bring puppies, And we could sell the puppies"
i put in a smile too, a smile could go a long way in selling an idea, i had a heard a management guru say on t.v .


Maybe i should get a virtual pet, i could even tweak the code to suit my liking, but its just not the same!...sigH!....Or i should put a 'puppy' on my orkut wishlist, but my birthday is 11 months away!

But for now, i have to make do with watching scooby doo reruns on cartoon network! Ah heck! i have a brother, and he's toilet trained too, sheds hair though! So till one of you feels sorry for me and leaves a puppy on my doorstep,i'll have to make do with...


Nov 5, 2007

Who What Why

Who is thudl? what is thudl? Is he a person? most definitely! Am i swedish? An ex viking who's tired of plundering and instead has taken up reliving past victories in one of google's many free services?

Nope, Thudl is a boy,Thudl is a mask, on the lines of Stanley Ipkiss's mask (The MASK) , thudl is a macho name the boy created( thanks to t9) to make up for the lack of creativity from mom n dad, To be pronounced on the lines of muddle and puddle. Enough with the name, what does he stand for?

He's from kerela, he likes the color red, so does that mean he's a communist? oh dear god no! Then he surely must support congress, surely!, he does , but why? Did the Gandhi family do anything for him? Or was it because he was influenced by his die-hard congress supporting grandmother? Or is it because he didn't have much of a choice? Thudl is largely peace loving, believes in the status quo, so did the demolishing of the babri masjid by the other leading national party rub him the wrong way? The Congress has had its share of mistakes too . Thudl loves gandhi, even before he saw lage raho munna bhai, that must be it! or is it?

Thudl must be religious, but who would you call religious? the ever praying hypocrite? The self serving priest? the selfless nun? thudl believes religion is a barrier to the author of religion, god . So thudl has crossed the barrier has he? He avoids the barrier, isn't that a step? But how do you explain all the pain and suffering in this world thudl? would your 'god' do that?

Thudl feels he knows the answer. But can he convey it? What if God isn't in control? What if god's given man the joystick to control his life , all the time hoping man would press the help key, Thudl knows simplistic answers will lead to more questions, But its thudl's blog, thudl can have his say!

Surely thudl must be part of a religion, and not just believe in an abstract god, free of mythology and legends, no, thudl is a christian , But is thudl strategising to convert the next person he meets to Christianity , Thudl is not forceful ,Thudl doesn't stand to gain any more than what he has , So thudl isn't a zealot? he is though, in his own way,perhaps the right way, letting his actions show the way, But are his actions worthy? , he tries, but fails often .

What would you feel if you met thudl? Will he be shy? reticent? Or will he be loud, outgoing? a leader ? most of you wouldn't know , it wouldn't make a difference to your lives , Thudl is happy enough to be heard on his blog.

Is Thudl a good son ? friend ? master?( to his lizards and cockroaches) , thudl is revealing himself, draw your own conclusions! why is thudl here? could it be cause he had a vision? was he inspired? or was it just that his friend was making a blog too?

Thudl is a boy, wanting to be heard , thudl is just a soul, waiting to share , thudl is just an id hoping for friend requests , thudl is a spirit longing to leave , thudl is just a blog waiting to be viewed

Nov 2, 2007

Eden revisited - chapter 1

"It just isn't fair!, all i wanted to see was if dinosaurs could survive an asteroid hit" implored Lucifer. "Its not like i intended to kill em off" he added. "He's lying my lord" interjected michael, "Couple of decades back he tried the ice age trick, only last week he tried to kill some of them with a giant wave and now this!!" michael had never really liked lucifer, he felt the lord was being too soft on him, lucifer deserved to be thrown into the dungeons.

"There there michael, i've granted overseership of earth and her sister planets to lucifer, son of the morning star, i trust him to care for my beings, he wouldn't belittle my creations knowingly now would you lucifer?" the king on the emerald throne answered.

"But sire, have you forgotten about mars? the once green fountain filled planet, don't you remember the day you formed it, the day you shaped its belly, the hour you filled its springs, the saplings you planted, the rivers you brought forth!" , micheal was a passionate servant, filled with zeal, gentle as a spring breeze, but in his anger a mighty gale.

"Not That again! i'm tired of explaining it over and over again , the orbit of the planet changed, nothing much i could do, besides a 'martian' sounds scary, a red planet on the horizon of earth, now thats a neat setting for many a ghost story!" , michael scowled at lucifer's carefree words.

"Lucifer, i would now take leave of you", the lord's benevolent smile extended even to scum like lucifer thought michael, "and you may remain michael" , moments spent alone soaking in the wisdom of the high king were always precious to him, " my pleasure, my king" replied michael

As Lucifer left the throne room, the king smiled, and said "I know of Lucifer's doings michael, but my purpose always prevails, should i not be kind, should i not be patient, with even the vilest of my creation? don't i love every creature i've created? everything serves its purpose, even you michael, the evening star , you must glow through the ages, bring light in the cool of the dusk."

"i do not doubt your wisdom lord" replied michael. "But i almost never understand your ways" michael added unabashedly.

With a twinkle in his eye God declared "I must set about to make my greatest creation, a race of beings made in my own image, who within them have the power to create, to imagine, a race that have a choice, a choice to submit to my will, a race that'll populate earth."

The implications of the Lord's words stunned michael, inspite of all the thoughts racing through his head he said "i trust your judgement lord".And as always he believed.

Oct 28, 2007

A cut below the rest!

I was born bald, or so my mother says. Some of the best things in life never last for long, that is perhaps why we cherish them and long for more of it. And so before my first week on planet earth came to an end i had sprouted quite a few strands of thick curly black hair. My parents were delighted, their first born was becoming a man! he would go on to conjure up hair in all variety of places, places which may never see the light of day.

And so the baby grew physically and the frequency of his tantrums increased. They remembered his first word, first burp and the first time he walked and who could forget his first hair cut! To this day i'm not sure of what pushed my 2 year old self over the edge. Was it the physical act of the hair cut itself or was it the one cutting the hair . i'm inclined to believe it was the latter.

Pappachen was a thin wiry man in his mid thirties . But his stoic countenance and the perpetual scowl he bore filled my heart with fear. Pappachen himself was semi bald and unmarried . And i suspect his lack of hair led to the lack of proposals . Whatever might be the case , pappachen had taken it upon himself to rid the world of hair, and no matter what you told him at the start, the end result would be the same, an even , military style outcrop that's barely quarter of an inch long.

When i saw him for the first time, instincts took over, i ran to the one safe place that had aided me in many a hide and seek session, under the bed. i thought the danger had passed.But a long hairy arm reached out under the bed and grabbed me (Pappachen had obviously done this before), i would have gone on to the electric chair with glee, but i was placed rather unceremoniously onto a normal chair. My mother smiled upon me, and with a calm demeanor explained that my hair was too long and would be cut. I rejoiced within, the one person i trusted most just said it was going to be alright. But my instincts said otherwise. And when Pappachen drew his unusually large scissors and a comb with pointed, sharp looking teeth i screamed, what followed was mayhem, my grandmother still relates the story to every willing listener. i'm still undecided over what made the episode memorable. Was it the powerful kick pappachen received to his mid-section or was is it the scar i proudly wear to this day on my forehead. Or maybe it was the double wage my mother had to dish out to him. Either way pappachen and i never crossed paths again.

My sense of victory was short lived however, i realised barbers are like grains of sand in a desert. they were too many to count, almost like a cult, when one falls the other takes over, each one sacrificing their life, honour and reputation to further the larger cause. Only the gods have managed to stay immune from this conspiracy. I mean, Jesus had long hair didn't he?. So did krishna, ram and shiva(if one can trust the accuracy of mythological teleserials that is). My overcoming of pappachen brought chellappan into the picture. Rumor had it that chellappen had "accidentally" cut the ear of a misbehaving lad .And as to why he was still in the profession lends further proof to my barber conspiracy theory . The brotherhood had influence that even diverted the course of justice. As you know my ears are intact, proof of the fact that chellappen prevailed and he didn't quite share pappachen's fate.

The next day my relief turned to misery as i was made fun of for being a 'mottathala' an egg head. the snide remarks and suppressed giggles from my play school mates lasted a couple of weeks. The next two weeks were somewhat peaceful, at the end of which chellappen paid another visit. Hence starting a viscous monthly cycle i still haven't grown used to!

The years passed, mottathala gave way to sunshine and many other names. my mothers advice to use the "sticks and stones can break my bones but names cannot hurt me" line only fueled the persistence of the aggressors. i changed cities, states but the brotherhood i realised was strong.Every town or village if you've noticed has a barber. The dark cloud hung over me.

And then with the onset of adulthood, i discovered ROCK music . i was hardly passionate about music what impressed me were the rock stars. Every one of them had long flowing locks. They had resisted the barber mafia , they had prevailed . I also noticed that rock stars were misfits in the society, most people looked at them with distaste and a sense of loathing . The barbers had influenced the minds of people . Changed perception itself . For a moment i contemplated joining this powerful force , almost immortal , but sense returned. I decided i would grow my hair , face the dark organisation head on.

And when my mom suggested i go get a haircut, i said NO! Her momentary shock at my rebellion was replaced by a sigh of acceptance. So i set about growing my hair . I found the new instrument called the "comb" a very useful but tiresome contraption. My arms hurt after a few strokes . combing my hair was becoming a time-consuming and pricey alternative to haircuts . I was forced to oil and shampoo my hair , and when i didnt , i had to bear 'messy hair' jokes , itching and general disgust from my female companions. Then it struck me . By not getting my hair cut i was spending enormous amounts of time taking care of my hair, shampoo's were costly so was hair gel , hair dryers cost a fortune even a bottle of oil costs more than a haircut. By snubbing the unholy barber organisation i had fallen into a greater trap set by the fiendish hair care industry!

Newton was right! Every action does really have an equal and opposite reaction! The barber system was created to counter the grave danger of haircare. how many millions are spent on hair care, moreover irreplaceable and invaluable time is spent on hair care! I realised that the forces of good and evil are always clashing continually, swirling together in the cauldron of life. It may be difficult to differentiate between good and evil but with age(as in my case) discernment increases!

And as i sit in front of the computer after another haircut, feeling miserable, foreboding the sly smiles and remarks tomorrow, my heart is at peace, a peace thats possible only when you know you did the right thing. And for once i don't mind being a cut below the rest!

Sep 23, 2007


We were going to Chandigarh! My 12 year old frame was brimming over with enthusiasm , the angular, un-artistic and perfectly planned city seemed very appealing then.

And our mode of transport would be the Shatabdi, at a top speed of 80km\hour the fastest steed in the stables of Indian Railways. More than the 'speed' of the Shatabdi it was its high quality hospitality and, the fact that it wouldn't stop at any station till it reached its destination, that filled its compartments. Tea, coffee and newspapers would arrive at regular intervals before boredom could set in, but nothing could prepare me for the view its large windows would offer.

We(my parents and a younger brother) left our cosy Delhi hotel room early to catch the 6:15 train to Chandigarh. My old man was unusually eager to reach Chandigarh. The straight cut, spacious and uncluttered roads appealed to his engineering psyche. My Mother as usual was game to anything that didn't involve slaving in the kitchen. As for my brother, he was excited about finally getting to see the rock garden( as ironic as it sounds) that he had learnt about the previous year. He would later admit that gardens should be green.

We entered our bogey and were surprised(atleast i was) to see an airplane like array of single seater chairs, 6in each row with an aisle in between seperating the compartment into two halves. We had just one window seat and the usual tussle about who gets it followed, my 5 inch and 10 kg advantage over my brother came in handy as usual. But my bulliness would result in perhaps the most unsavoury incident in my life.

My dad settled in the seat beside me, his tall frame and generously filled pockets of fat hid everyone else from my line of sight. So there it was, the stage was set, with my dad on my left and the Delhi-Chandigarh countyside on my right. Life was good, I hadn't seen it all, atleast until then.

The first half hour passed eventfully, the flurry of activity distributing newspapers, fruit juices engaged everone in the compartment. The view outside the window was rapidly deteriorating, the high rises were giving away to smaller buildings , shacks and then finally open slums. The horror was just unfolding.

Breakfast had arrived, the western meal that i had ordered consisted of toast, jam butter and potato wedges. A few greedy gulps later i chanced to look outside again
And then is saw it. I saw three in a row! At first it just didn't register. The human mind comes to a conclusion only after it co-relates the present incident to another it has experienced in the past. I hadn't ever seen one even though i had one of it. It was an astounding sight. There was scores of em, fair, dark,wrinkled, all shapes sizes and a variety of countenances, you couldn't tell the gender though

What i saw were buttocks. Too many to count, one after the other seemingly endless. It was answering the call of nature time in the slums of Delhi. Couldn't nature give a missed call that fateful day? The human body is more regular than India's cricketing defeats i realised.
I tugged my father's sleeves, for an explanation my pre-teen mind could not produce. He calmly glanced outside and urged me to finish my breakfast, i gathered from his calmness that he'd been to Chandigarh before! Suddeny the yellow grimy potato wedges seemed un-appetizing. I stole a look towards the window, the numbers seemed to have decreased but it still was an orgy of defecation!

I closed my eyes and pondered upon the plight of these fellow countymen, the poverty, the humiliation, the group mentality and most of all about why they had to face away front the railway track. Surely! facing the train would have been a lot less discomforting for me and the other hapless souls who chose to sit by the window. Infact they could face the train and throw in a smile while they went about their business.

What unnerved me most was the fact that we were goin to Chandi garh ( chandi is buttocks in malayalam and garh is house in hindi) . Was this a taste of what was to come at our destination? Butt-cheeks at every corner? Thankfully my worst fears were not realised. But to this day, when i lower my pants and grace the throne with a newspaper in hand, waiting to get the load off, i thank god for all his provisions and curse the indian railways for the lack of it!