Mar 14, 2008

Celebrating the worst!!

This is an article i wrote for our department yearbook 'PHOENIX' which didnt exactly rise from its ashes. But thats why one starts a blog. Free publishing!!


In the beginning god created man, man created jokes, some men tried to create jokes, but failed and hence was born the POOR JOKE(P.J) . Okay we can live with P.Js , they crack you up! But when some people dedicate their lives towards the advancement of nonsense, Grrrrrrr! We as members of R.I.S.E must rise above and trounce the propitiators of B.P.L.Js(Below the poverty line jokes, yes such a thing does exist! You will see as you read on) .
Caution – I have only compiled the collection, was in no way responsible for creating any of em! , But I shall let you into a secret….psssst…..Kunal jadhav 4th sem c.s…..yes the kingpin himself….Yep!!...those old chappals lying in the closet will come in handy!!
Here goes nothing!!

1.A man is walking down the street. A parrot curiously calls out his name from a tree. Ahem!!...Which geometric figure comes to mind?

Ans:- Parabola ( parrot bola!...this was a mild one you’ll be clenching your teeth in no time!)

2.A man is crossing a jungle on a bike, midway through his journey a jubilant peacock comes in his way and he is forced to stop. This curious event happens every hour!! What could be the possible reason?

Ans:- Well he was riding the Tvs Victor !...no clue?...more smiles per hour!!...mor==peacock ….heh heh!!....not very funny is it?...i know!!

3.A man (Who is this “man”?) is being chased by a lion through a dense dark jungle . Fortunately he finds a rope and climbs on to it . But for some unfathomable reason there is a candle right under the rope and its burning the rope away . And the lions prowling right under him, He must think and think fast!...what does he do?

Ans :- He says HAPPY BIRTHDAY….the lion blows the candle!....don’t worry I was speechless too when I heard the “solution” for the first time!!....

4. What do bees do if they don't want to drive?
Ans :-Wait at the buzz stop (Buzz off?...don’t blame me! I just compile them)


5. What happens if you take mickey mouse and throw him onto a wall?
Ans:- Well you get the Ramayana…simple really!....if you take mickey and throw him on a wall you get wall mickey…wallmickey….wallmiki…..valmiki….And valmike writes the Ramayana!....simple deduction Watson!!


6. A fish bangs onto a concrete wall. What does he say?
Ans :- ‘Dam’n!!....One particular person took an entire year to get this one!!....but is it a bad joke? Yes! because according to the second theory of bad jokesim “If a person or a living being takes 365 or 366 days to figure out a joke then according to the converse of the first theorem the joke is bad joke”…Eh?...don’t ask me I haven’t figured a single theorem in my 19 years either!


7. A solitary hunter is trudging through the deep forests of Africa. Suddenly he spots something , he aims , he shoots Elephant!!...But the pigeon dies!..whatever happened?
Ans:- Well could it be that the the bullet according to the theory of relativity sped at the speed of light and time traveled into another dimension only to emerge back into our time and hit a new but pre-destined target?.....Arre mamu….this is a bplj!! The only way to arrive at the solution is to bang your head against the wall till you get gangrene . That won’t be necessary….the pigeon’s name was elephant!


8.The ultimate!!…. A man is stranded on a boat….just bitter salt water for miles all around…Its just him , his boat and 2 cigarettes .he wants to smoke the cigarette badly (He missed the bold ‘cigarettes are injurious to health sign’ too like the other millions, baffling!!) . What does he do?
Ans :- Solar energy? Nah….oh..o…I get it!..he rubbed pieces of wood together and made fire…NO!!....use bplj logic….Well he chucked one of the cigarettes away. The boat becomes “lighter”, he uses the “lighter” and lights the cigarette!...game set and match….Yes rocket science i think is easier!
All good thing must come to an end. So its even more certain that bad things have abrupt endings! But we must sit back and admire the ingenuity and extreme creativity of the men who create such gems of literature . Or bring out your guns!!

4 comments:

Archana said...

Wow Thudl!..this is by far the best marketing strategy you have come up with to advertise your kinda jokes..the attempt to make it seem like your not one of those bplj cracking people..simply incredible! ;-)

Enjoyed the post...."the pigeon's name was elephant!"..it takes a different set of grey cells to come up wid moronic jokes like that!..too good!:-D

Karan said...

Different grey cells - for sure!

Rohith said...

Uh...

Er...

i remember this article. it was the last page of the yearbook. easier to tear out and throw it away, burn it or whatever.

thing is i heard most of those "jokes" first hand. unfortunately there was no wall to bang his head on!

scribbleworld said...

eh???
Whose this person who got that joke after a year???

Must be someone really DUMB!!!


;)