Any mother-son relationship would not be complete without its fair share of arguments, "good advice" from the mother, ill-timed advice from the son to stop the increasing amount of "good advice" he's been getting, the all out war of words when advice moves over to the realm of commands,and when push comes to shove (and broom) good ol dad has to step in and restore the peace with the customary 'let him do what he wants' .
Recently, after a long dreary day in college, i pile a chunk of food on to my plate, and flopped on the couch with the holy grail of couchdom (the remote) in hand. After a good 5 mins of channel surfing i settled for ESPN. The championship deciding football match in the EPL seemed inviting,
Rooney passes to ronaldo, ronaldo crosses to tevez, a brilliant cross from tevez back to ronaldo,
the crowd's on the edge of their seats, ronaldo has an opening, the goalkeeper is nowhere in the frame, he shoots......
"Whats with your sudden interest in football, huh?"
Didnt the 16th commandment read "thou shalt not interrupt thy son/father/husband when he's wathching sports, if thou doest, thou shalt face his wrath , which is unequaled even by me , saith the lord" . Clearly, my mother hadn't gone beyond the ten other vital commands. But the underlying sarcasm from behind, stabbed me like a piercing arrow, the venom poured into that very part of my heart where pele, maradona and zidane resided. I wasnt gonna let this go!
with my eyes still following ronaldo's celebrations, i started off on a verbal assault!
"WHAAAT?"
"What am i supposed to do while eating, watch the dead meat?"
"Am i supposed to have my nose in a textbook even while eating?"
"you have a problem with everything!"
"If i were watching a news channel, you'd have a problem with that, Ftv would be even more of a problem, your constant 'grow up' remarks forced me to give up wathcing cartoon network! can't you just let me live??"
"what you need is a dog, not a son, atleast the dog would have PETA to defend him"
"So when are you going to censor my thoughts, or are you doing that already"
I paused a moment to give my mom some time to squeeze in her half of the argument, her unusual silence spurred me on, maybe i had a case here, i had her on the ropes, time to give in the final punch, silence her for a couple of weeks atleast.
"Was i adopted, is that why you treat me so bad"
"Oh i get it! your my step mom aren't you? I knew it"
"Even cinderalla was treated better, atleast she could watch football in peace"
"Where is my fairy god-dude?"
"Once i get a job, i'm moving out, i'll get a new mom"
okay, maybe i went too far with the last comment, i didnt exactly want to skip dinner for a couple of weeks, so i stopped and looked at her, and said
"Okay now, why arent you saying anything? give up? finally! after 20 years"
Thats when mom broke her silence
"I was talking to nidhi(my brother) not you, HA"
Sometimes when you prepare and give a seminar in class, your all excited and pumped up, but no one gives a rip about what you blabbered, and at the end of it you feel like an idiot for having wasted everone's time, i felt like that, only worse.
I finished the food in a jiffy, switched off the t.v, and avoiding eye contact with my mother i retire to the sanctuary of my room. After burying my head under the pillow for a good fifteen minutes, i emerged with a big smile on my face! i had something to blog about!
Stay tuned though, the mom wars saga isn't gonna end anytime soon, the empire will strike back!
Recently, after a long dreary day in college, i pile a chunk of food on to my plate, and flopped on the couch with the holy grail of couchdom (the remote) in hand. After a good 5 mins of channel surfing i settled for ESPN. The championship deciding football match in the EPL seemed inviting,
Rooney passes to ronaldo, ronaldo crosses to tevez, a brilliant cross from tevez back to ronaldo,
the crowd's on the edge of their seats, ronaldo has an opening, the goalkeeper is nowhere in the frame, he shoots......
"Whats with your sudden interest in football, huh?"
Didnt the 16th commandment read "thou shalt not interrupt thy son/father/husband when he's wathching sports, if thou doest, thou shalt face his wrath , which is unequaled even by me , saith the lord" . Clearly, my mother hadn't gone beyond the ten other vital commands. But the underlying sarcasm from behind, stabbed me like a piercing arrow, the venom poured into that very part of my heart where pele, maradona and zidane resided. I wasnt gonna let this go!
with my eyes still following ronaldo's celebrations, i started off on a verbal assault!
"WHAAAT?"
"What am i supposed to do while eating, watch the dead meat?"
"Am i supposed to have my nose in a textbook even while eating?"
"you have a problem with everything!"
"If i were watching a news channel, you'd have a problem with that, Ftv would be even more of a problem, your constant 'grow up' remarks forced me to give up wathcing cartoon network! can't you just let me live??"
"what you need is a dog, not a son, atleast the dog would have PETA to defend him"
"So when are you going to censor my thoughts, or are you doing that already"
I paused a moment to give my mom some time to squeeze in her half of the argument, her unusual silence spurred me on, maybe i had a case here, i had her on the ropes, time to give in the final punch, silence her for a couple of weeks atleast.
"Was i adopted, is that why you treat me so bad"
"Oh i get it! your my step mom aren't you? I knew it"
"Even cinderalla was treated better, atleast she could watch football in peace"
"Where is my fairy god-dude?"
"Once i get a job, i'm moving out, i'll get a new mom"
okay, maybe i went too far with the last comment, i didnt exactly want to skip dinner for a couple of weeks, so i stopped and looked at her, and said
"Okay now, why arent you saying anything? give up? finally! after 20 years"
Thats when mom broke her silence
"I was talking to nidhi(my brother) not you, HA"
Sometimes when you prepare and give a seminar in class, your all excited and pumped up, but no one gives a rip about what you blabbered, and at the end of it you feel like an idiot for having wasted everone's time, i felt like that, only worse.
I finished the food in a jiffy, switched off the t.v, and avoiding eye contact with my mother i retire to the sanctuary of my room. After burying my head under the pillow for a good fifteen minutes, i emerged with a big smile on my face! i had something to blog about!
Stay tuned though, the mom wars saga isn't gonna end anytime soon, the empire will strike back!
2 comments:
Hope the broom comes in extra handy for your mom the next time drama-queen Thudl "threatens" to move out
And u quit watching cartoon network?..Oh puhleeeez!!
I'm sure this post can have many more sequels..good one! :-)
"scribble pad"
I have the same question to ask.Whats with the sudden interest in EPL?I thought you were glued to "F"tv 24/7:);).
You guys with younger siblings are so lucky man...You get divided attention and a large share of the belting bit goes to the second born(usually):).I just have to take it all myself:(.
Jokes apart,I liked the ending....You have the PJ's for any situation boy!! PJ's==Perfect jokes.
Splendid(You dont get that from me too often so read it,re-read it and meditate on it)
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