Feb 10, 2009
understanding the other kind!
Well i strongly disagree with all those who say that men are from Mars and women are from Venus, because clearly the two are not even from the same galaxy! Its pretty evident that we don’t speak the same language, men talk, women feel, when the man wants to feel, the woman just wants to sleep!;D
With Valentine’s day approaching, there seems to be a temporary truce of sorts, but its like a calm before the storms to come. So while the rest of humanity pondered about the economy and world peace, i decided to find a solution to the war of the sexes!
Well , wikipedia wasn’t too helpful,hindi teleserials... had too many shocking camera zooming moments to really understand anything, femina though interesting was too biased, times of india filled the relationship space with English footballer WAGs. Well after many such failed attempts i decided to look, where i should have looked in the first place! THE BIBLE! And i did find a profound answer! Here it is!
However, let each man of you love his wife as his very own self, and let the wife see that she respects and reverences her husband. Ephesians 5:33
I have read past this statement a hundred times, too simplistic isn’t it? Thats what i thought too, till a preacher pointed out a key facet to this verse that if followed could bring an end to the war in the household!
What is truly amazing is that man is not asked to revere his wife nor is the woman asked to love her husband, somehow our mind goes into auto-correct and misses this significant point, we just assume that it is vice-versa. But no!
Well the reason is women love their husbands anyway, they show it many different ways, they make his favorite food, they notice the little slump in his shoulders, they tell him that they care,they understand and provide a ready ear for his problems, they are sympathetic to his hopes and dreams, they are a balm to his aching bones at the end of a hard day. Women are the epitome of love shown in gestures.
Men dont know this and seldom reciprocate in kind! The imbecile believes that the first time he said “I love you” should last him a lifetime! He actually thinks that women sense whats in his heart and he does not need to voice them. He is also convinced that his physical presence in times of turmoil amounts to caring.
So the bible urges the neanderthal cave men to express their love, show that they care, love his wife!
Female society works on loving, caring and verbally affirming their thoughts, men hardly function on these lines, male society centers on the magic mantra of Respect! In this world your worth is measured by how much your respected. Respect can be earned by a variety of means, the fastest, strongest,biggest, smartest, richest and all the other ‘ests’ win lots of respect, but so will the guy who can gulp down a bottle of liquor in a minute, or the person who can stand up to his boss, men tend to be extra competitive, everything is a race! Women dismiss this as childish ego clashes, but for men, its a way of being!
Men give each other respect, they are natural at identifying and providing for those who deserve this respect! Why is it that the geeky professor who commands the respect of all his peers fails in the dating game? Because women dont respect some guy who has spent years learning the intimate regions of a mainframe than the intricate complexities of a relationship!
What a man wants is this respect, and if a woman wants to make him happy and content, she must give him this respect, identify and appreciate the things he is able to provide, tell him how much better he is at mowing the garden compared to the much better looking neighbour. Tell him that he did a great job fixing the t’v, who cares if he made your colour t’v into a black and white one! Tell him your with him because he’s better than the other men, that will be his moment of glory!
In a nutshell, give them what they want! Women want love, give it to them, men want some respect, give him some! Because we’re wired in such a way that women will always show love toward their husbands and men will always respect his wife, those skills are innate, its the skills that we acquire that will help us in understanding the other kind!